Corrupted Promises
by ishasta
Summary: Blaine's life had always been monitored by his parents. They are constantly breathing down his neck, making him afraid to make one wrong step. But when the family moves to Lima and Blaine meets Kurt. He can't help breaking some things.
1. Chapter 1

** Hello :) This is my first story ever on here and also my first fan fiction. For this I decided to make Blaine's parents have kind of that Southern feel (at least I think so). Please tell me what you think and I appreciate any and** **all criticisms. Enjoy :)  
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P.S. I do not own Glee or any of the characters mentioned.

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><p>Church bells rang loudly above our heads. Dismissal time. All the happy church folk were free to leave and go have lovely Sunday dinner with their families. On any normal Sunday I would have been walking back to my house with my parents to have a little afternoon snack before the kind old couple across the street came for game night. But this wasn't any normal Sunday. At the moment I was ignoring that agonizingly loud church bell. Right now I was to wrapped up in Kurt. Rather he was wrapped up in me. His dainty fingers grasped tightly to the back of my head as my hot breath filled every crevasses of his body.<p>

"I should probably get home to help my parents prepare for the Terrys." I breathed in between kisses.

"The Terrys can wait. Right now I just want my boyfriend." Kurt said playfully.

My eyes shot open.

"Boyfriend?" I questioned, pushing away from him to see his eyes.

His jaw dropped open, blue eyes shining with irritation. "Well yes Blaine I was assuming."

I stopped him before he could go any further. "Kurt what we have here is a - a - well basically a deal. I don't know if I'm like you or not. I'm basically experimenting. You know, trying it out to see if it feels right."

His eyes exploded, as he shot daggers into my own eyes. "Experimenting? Blaine what the hell have we been doing the past year? You're telling me that you're only just experimenting?" His voice rose to such a level that I ducked for fear of him striking me with his words.

"Okay, maybe I'm not experimenting but going further into what he have would make this - real. I'm just not so sure if I'm ready for that yet." I dropped my head in shame. Long brown curly locks covered my eyes so I wouldn't have to see his face. I knew what it would look like and I was definitely not ready to face it.

"You don't want to make our relationship real?" He sounded hurt and incredibly flustered.

I glanced down to look at all the people filing out of the church. From up in the bell tower they all looked like little dolls. "Could you keep it down? Someone might hear you."

He crossed his arms tightly around his chest. His lips in a pout that could only result in something disastrous. "Fine I'll keep it down. In fact, why don't I just leave so that it can be completely silent?" He pushed past me to try and make a dramatic exit down the stairs, his stripped scarf flowing elegantly behind him. I grabbed his arm and forced him to face me.

"Don't go." I said, barely audible.

His blue eyes pierced into mine.

"Kurt, I want to be with you. I just, you're so confident about who you are and a year ago I didn't even know what gay meant. You just have to be patient with me. I'm struggling here, Kurt. I need you beside me."

With a flip of his hair he huffed loudly. I knew what he was going to say even before the words formed on his lips. "Then tell them."

He meant my parents of course. But he knew that was impossible. That was like asking for death. It wasn't safe or sane. "I can't." I said, hoping he would understand. Praying he would understand.

He yanked his arm from my grasp and stared coldly into my eyes. "Then we're done here." He stomped down the stairs. The echo of his heavy soled shoes disappeared within a minute and I was left alone feeling miserable and broken. How had it come to this? Why couldn't he just understand the pressure I was feeling? I had obnoxiously religious parents breathing down my neck, trying to make me into a good God loving Christian boy, who with any slip-up would surely have my head. I would come out sooner or later. Just not to them. And for months I was praying he would understand that. Yet here we were.


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter and the chapters to follow are all kind of lengthy so sorry! But anyways in this chapter, Blaine starts to get into when he first met Kurt. ****Happy reading! :D**

**I don't not own Glee or the characters... Sadly**

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><p> I stuck my head out into the autumn air and watched as Kurt crossed the church yard and disappeared around the street corner. He got a few strange glances from the people that lingered around after services to have conversations with people they already probably talked to enough. And that was what I was afraid of the most - the looks. Never mind the words. Everyone knew that actions spoke louder anyways. It was those looks that led to thoughts that people would never say. But they would still think them. And that thought would stay with them for eternity. The thought of 'look at those filthy queers'. That's what would hurt the most. I could handle the taunts when spoken aloud, but if they were never spoken, you might as well drive a knife through my back.<p>

Fortunately for Kurt he always got the audible insults. His girly looks made sure of that. That's actually how I met him. About a year ago I had transferred schools because I had moved. Lima, Ohio was a much smaller town then where I had moved from in Michigan. My parents felt that there was to much evil in Michigan and decided to move us to Lima in hopes of me growing up without being corrupted. Boy if they knew.

Being the new kid your sophomore year in high school had it's ups and downs. Mostly downs because I was treated like some scientist experiment that everyone had to take a poke at before they deemed me worthy of being human. The first few weeks I mainly stayed in the shadows. Keeping myself under radar until I was sure it was safe to come out. Most of the football players took me under their wing. Football players in small towns went nuts over church and all fellow brethren that went there. Maybe that's why they hated Kurt so much. Apparently gay guys hate church.

I had witnessed him being bullied pretty harshly one day and then followed him into the bathroom. Not entirely sure what my intentions were. When I pushed open the mens room door he had already locked himself in a stall. I don't think he was crying. Kurt was to tough for that. When he finally came out and saw me his expression turned from pain to irritated.

"What? You want to poke at me to? Can't I get a break from you people?" He shouted, his voice hoarse.

I changed my own expression from confused concentration to soft concern. "No I'm not with those guys." I gestured to the door as if he could see through at the two jerks laughing beyond it. "I just wanted to see if you were okay. I think it's really messed up what they said to you." Though I didn't hear a word of it I was sure he didn't deserve to be the subject of such cruel hostility.

"Well thank you for caring but I'm somewhat used to it now. It's happened long enough that I shouldn't care." He said as he checked himself in the mirror.

"You still do." I guessed.

His eyebrow raised as he took me in finally. Noting every body part. I wouldn't have been surprised if he got down every curl of my hair.

"Unfortunately yes I do. But I'll get over it. I always do." He finished checking me out and shifted his weight to what I took as impatiently.

"No you don't." I guessed again. "I used to get made fun of all the time for this stupid 'Jew fro' and it still makes me want to butcher it once in a while." A made a motion that looked as if I was cutting all my hair off with my fingers, hoping to lighten his expression.

"Yes, well thank you for that lovely 'pick me up' but I have to get to class." He came toward me and the only thing that registered in my brain was to extend my hand out to him.

"I'm Blaine Anderson. I moved here a couple of weeks ago from Michigan." I tried him with my most charming smile but yet his expression stayed firm.

Yet he grabbed my hand. "I'm Kurt Hummel. You're making me late to Glee club."

I shook his hand firmly, shaking it as I spoke. "We should hang out sometime Kurt Hummel." I released him from my grasp and unblocked the path to the door. "You may proceed to Glee club." Was that a smile on his lips?

He walked past me but stopped mid way through the door to take me in one more time. "I hope you know that being my friend comes equipped with an angry mob full of crazy blood thirsty people with torches and pitch forks."

"I anxiously await the challenge." With that the door closed and I had a foreign feeling bubbling inside me. I couldn't put my tongue on it but that was probably because I had never experienced the feeling before. Hopefully it would become more clear as this friendship grew.


	3. Chapter 3

** As I said before, the chapters get oober long now but no worries :) Right?** **So again I hope you enjoy this chapter because this is where it starts to get good (hopefully). **

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><p> When Kurt said his friendship came with challenges, boy did it come with challenges. We couldn't walk down the hallway without some sort of sports player calling us names. Every jock took a swing at us. Football players were the top one, then came that stupid hockey team, basketball, baseball, even golf took a whack at the showcase that was Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson. And these were names I had never heard of before. The most used one was this word the started with an 'F' and rhymed with 'hag'. When I looked confused Kurt would reassure me that it was nothing to worry about. He knew I was a very sheltered child.<p>

Joining the Glee club only made things worse. I just couldn't help myself. After hearing all of Kurt's stories of how much fun they had singing and dancing, it would've been stupid not to join. But after a while that decision really got to me. The jocks had this one thing they enjoyed doing to all us glee kids. They would take ice cold slushies and toss them in our face without even a word of warning. It was cold and felt like misery itself was clinging to every inch of your face, neck, and upper part of your chest. It was impossible to get out of your clothes. And even more impossible to get it out of your hair. Especially when you had as much as me.

After a while I decided to get a haircut so it wouldn't take Rachel and Quinn so long to hose me down after an attack. That was the same day I invited Kurt over to watch some movies with me. I wouldn't him to be the first to see my new dew.

When Kurt knocked on the door I was on the couch dusting hair off my sweater. My good ol' mother seeing I was busy took it in her liberty to answer the door. I looked over at her just in time to see her smile drop even though her back was to me. My mother had a huge smile. That's why I got so worried when I saw it fall.

"Who is it?" I asked, my voice shaking a bit. Our family was a very animated family and it didn't take much to get us worked up.

She stepped aside to show Kurt standing there with incredibly tight pants, a bright yellow shirt cover by a stripped sweater vest, and shoes that shone brighter than flashlight piercing through a pitch black night.

"Oh it's Kurt!" I exclaimed as I rushed over to greet the guest.

"Hello Blaine." He said almost flatly but yet still embraced me in a hug.

I could feel my mothers eyes on us the entire time.

"Kurt," She said not so pleasantly. "What a lovely blouse you have on."

His eyes sparkled with appreciation. "Thank you Mrs. Anderson. I going to accept that as a compliment."

"Kurt," I said, pulling him away from the staring contest him and my mother were having. "We have movies to watch." I turned to my mother. "Can you believe he's never seen the Star Wars movies?"

She smiled, still not pleasantly. "Then I guess you boys better get going then. I'll bring you down some snacks in a little while. I just have to make a quick phone call."

I nodded and kissed her on the head. "Thanks mom." I rushed over to the staircase leading downstairs and gestured for Kurt to follow. "Like these movies, you will." I said in my best Yoda voice.

Kurt laughed and followed me downstairs. Though his eyes kept darting to my mother hoovering on the top step.

Two movies and three bags of popcorn later, we both sat there in silence. I wasn't quite ready to start the third movie, as to noticing Kurt as clearly not enjoying himself. He crossed his legs elegantly, his hands wrapped around one knee tightly. His blue eyes were glued to the credits slowly rolling by on the screen. When he noticed me staring he laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I honestly don't know how you enjoy these stupid excuses for Star Trek." He said as he grabbed a Cheeto.

I pointed a cheesy index finger at him accusingly. "I take that to very strong offense mister."

He held his hands out in defense. "All I'm saying is that these movies are the worst things my eyeballs have ever grazed." His eyes glanced back to the screen which was now on the title menu. "And you remind me of that giant hairy thing with all that hair of yours."

I took a quick peek inside my shirt. "How'd you know I have chest hair?" I asked with a sly smile on my face.

He laughed again. "I meant that mop on top of your head stupid." He threw his Cheeto at me, aiming for my hair.

I smoothed my curls down trying to look at hurt as possible. "I got it cut."

He shrugged. "I didn't notice." His eyes flashed with mischief as he took a sip of soda. "This causes cellulite and pimples, you know?" He said, grimacing at the bubbles that popped up from the cup.

"You care to much about that stuff." I said as I flipped the TV to a cartoon channel. Some Japanese show was on. It looked incredibly like Pokemon but the characters resembled mixtures between prehistoric animals and robots. I looked over at Kurt and noticed his face had blanked out. I picked up his fallen Cheeto and tossed it at his leg. "Kurt?"

He snapped out of his trance and looked over at me. "Sorry." He apologized, looking down.

I didn't know what to say so I simply turned towards the TV and for one whole episode of Pokemon replica we were silent. It wasn't until a commercial for some sort of Bratz makeup kit came on did I even remember that I had left that word hanging in the air.

"Blaine." This was spoken softly and questioned me, as if getting ready to tell me a secret. Which in fact was exactly what he was doing.

I looked back at him. He sat in the loveseat. As far away from me as possible. But something about his voice made me scoot closer. His knees were tucked into his chest, his torso slightly angle in a way where he could easily see the television screen, and his head rested lazily in his left hand while his other hand wrapped tightly around his waist. He looked into the sunlight streaming down from the basement window. His face glowed in his warmth. Only one word struck me as I looked at him.

_ Beautiful._

I pushed that thought out of my head the minute it entered. Silly me, boys couldn't be beautiful.

"Yes Kurt?" My voice now uneven thanks to my awkward thought.

"I'm gay Blaine." He said it without any hesitation and with such confidence. Though I was entirely sure what that meant. I had heard that word once or twice in church when the pastor spoke of love but that's all I thought it was - love.

When he saw my blank expression he sighed heavily. "God you're sheltered. It means I like boys, Blaine. Being gay is when boys like other boys."

I was taken aback by the force in his voice. "But boys are suppose to like girls." I said stupidly.

He nodded. "Sure."

For a moment there was no noise other then those Pokemon look-a-likes blowing something up. Kurt liked boys. Which meant he might like me. And that thought I just had meant I might like him. And that feeling I got in the bathroom meant I might like boys too. Especially Kurt.

"This is the part where you become frightened because you think I like you. Which is absolutely correct. I knew I liked you from the very beginning. But don't let that ruin our friendship. I like what we have, Blaine. I don't want to ruin it because of some silly crush." His voice was aggravated but his eyes were soft. His pale smooth skin seemed to tense when I inched closer.

"But what if I begin to like you back?" I asked, making myself sick how childish I sounded.

He grabbed my hand, unintentionally sending tingles through my body. "Don't worry. You won't. I'll make sure of that."

"Promise?" I asked, though knowing it was a terrible thing to do.

His eyes stung with shame. "Promise." He repeated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Guess it would be good as a time as any to tell the tale how I came up with this. **

**So there I was, one o' clock in the morning and all of a sudden I start feeling really weird. My body is itching, tingling, ****I feel like I'm on fire, my heart won't quite racing, and I'm shaking like a sad water buffalo. So I take a shower to calm myself and when I come out it hits me: I got to write a story. So I sit down from 1:30 AM to 6:12 AM and write this story. Now normal it would take me just an hour to write a story so long but it was late and I felt like I was being possessed. In the ****end it turned out pretty good so I decided to put it here :) So enjoy :)**

**I do not own Glee...:(**

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><p>It was about two months after that day when that realization hit me. The Glee club was celebrating a successful day full of face off with a competing school. Some school named Dalton with all these good looking boys in blue blazers. We were at a skating rink, singing and 'skating', having a good time being teenagers. I stayed with Kurt at the walls of the rink trying to hold on for dear life as he encouraged me to join him in the center. Finn and Rachel were already there making a skeptical of themselves singing to the song playing loudly on the speakers. 'So Sick' by Ne-Yo. I hadn't heard this in forever and was anxious to join in the fun.<p>

As I wobbly made my way to join the rest of the glee kids, Mike whizzed past me, knocking me off my feet. My butt hit the ground with a loud thud. Shocked from the sudden pain that was surging through my body, I squeakily cried out in pain. Kurt, laughing, skated up to me and offered his hand.

"Grab my hand, jelly legs." He teased as I grabbed him. It was incredible how soft his hands were.

Halfway up I lost balance and we both on our butts, side by side. I started laughing uncontrollably and collapsed into his lap. Uneasily, he placed his hand on my back and humorlessly laughed with me.

"I'm horrible at this." I said gasping for breath in between my fits of hysterical laughter.

"You're suppose to stay of your feet." Mike taunted us as he passed for what seemed like the twelfth time.

It made me crack up even more as I adjusted myself off of Kurt's lap. "I have to pee." I giggled, trying my hardest to get up.

"Screw it." Kurt said as he yanked his skates off.

Seeing I was struggling doing the same he helped me get them off then yanked me to my feet.

"We'll practice in the bathroom. Come on." He grabbed my hand and we ran on the slippery rink all the way to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes of slowly skating back and forth in front of the bathroom sinks later, I thought I had completely mastered the art of rolling, until I collided head first with Kurt. Unintentionally our lips touched as our heads smacked together. And just for a moment I stayed there, stuck by the feel of his lips against mine. Before I knew it his arms were wrapped around me tightly, clinging to the hair I had worked so hard on gelling. He breathed into my mouth, filling my lungs with his own breath.

_ This must be what being gay feels like._ I thought to myself then noting the feeling wasn't as bad as I imagined it. I had always imagined that falling for Kurt would leave me feeling defeated. Like I had let everything I believed in down. But now that the moment was here I never wanted it to leave. And somehow I knew it never would.

I pulled away to breath and stared into Kurt's brilliant blue-green eyes. They were brimming with tears that I didn't understand.

"What's wrong?" I asked cupping his face in my hand.

"I've corrupted you." He spoke softly as tears caked on his face. "I broke our promise."

I grabbed his face with both hands and made his eyes meet mine. "Hey, screw our promise. It was a stupid jerkish thing to do. I don't care if I like you anymore. I want to like you Kurt."

He looked down, the same shame in his eyes that they held two months. "Fine but then we have to make another promise."

"Anything." Though I vaguely guessed what it was already.

"We can't fall in love. I don't want to cause any trouble."

I looked down at his bright pink skating laces. This was probably another promise either of us to keep.

"Blaine, promise." He said sternly.

"I promise." But we both knew it wouldn't last long.


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't have much to say about this chapter but that it's long :p Also this is the last chapter but I really won't to add on. Tell me what you guys think. Maybe make it into a whole Brokeback Mountain sort of thing? I don't know, you decide :)**

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><p>I arrived home a little late that day. The Terrys were already in the living room with an intense game of 'Guess Who' going on. I managed to slink into my room going only a little noticed by my father. I didn't even hear him follow me downstairs.<p>

"What took you so long?" He questioned after I had plopped down on my couch.

His voice startled me, causing me to almost fall off the furniture. "Geez you scared me." I huffed, trying to slow my heart.

"What were you doing?" He tried again.

"I was with Kurt and some of the guys from Glee." I said forcefully. I wanted to get off this topic as soon as possible.

"You sure? Cause I'm pretty sure that bell tower doesn't hold that many people." He said. And I knew that he probably knew the answers to any questions he was about to throw at me.

"Fine it was just me and Kurt. We were playing cards." My voice filled with more attitude with every word that escaped my lips. "I just didn't want to sit through church service."

"So you're skipping church to hang out with your queer friends now, huh?" The tone and way he said _queer_ began to frightened me.

"Please don't call them that." I said through clenched teeth.

He snorted. "That's what they are and that's the name I'm gonna call them."

"Just get out of my room!" I shouted before anything got out of hand.

He crossed his arms. "You're lucky the Terrys are here, but as soon as they leave boy we're gonna talk about you and that queer friend of yours."

"Get out!" I shouted again.

Luckily my father was no mule when it came to orders. Especially when he had company over.

My heart flew up my throat just thinking about when the Terrys left. They knew something. He knew something. Had they seen us kiss? No that couldn't be. We were always so secretive about that stuff. But they had to had seen something...

Unfortunately for all of us, Kurt hadn't even given the Terrys a chance to climb in their car before he came ringing on our doorbell. His long sweater flapped in the fall breeze, right in time with the flow of his scarf. As I looked through the peephole he barely had to stand on his toes in order for me to see him. I swallowed my heart back in my stomach and prepared for what was about to happen. He rocked on his leather grey boots as I swung the door open. My parents were immediately by my side.

Kurt had his hand stretched out holding an object. A red pen. A pen I had given him ages ago. He wasn't here to return it. He was here for an answer.

"Here's your pen back. You left it in the uh- . When we got through with the uh- ." Poor kid couldn't even finish his sentences.

The pen was still up for grabs. My mother took it from his porcelain looking hands. She nodded her appreciation and thrust it at me.

"Thank the boy so he can leave." She said kindly though there was hatred hiding somewhere in there.

My father had other plans. "What were you guys doing? Why is my son late to our weekly game nights, Lady." I could tell the name stung us both.

Kurt looked at me pleading.

_I can't._

Why didn't we have telepathy?

Another look.

_No._

"You gonna give me an answer?" My father said, raising his voice a little.

_Please!_

_Kurt..._

"Lady!" My dad shouted.

I swallowed a lump in my throat and kept my eyes on Kurt's. "I'm gay." I said boldly over his scream. Beside me my mother sobbed.

"You best be going home now boy." My father said terrifyingly calm. This could only end terribly for me.

Kurt smiled at me with tears in his eyes and lept down the stairs. I chased after him and met him in the middle of the street.

"Blaine." He choked as I grabbed him and kissed him. Right in front of my parents.

"I love you." I said though tears and kisses.

"I love you too." He said breathlessly.

"I love you so much." I kissed him one more time before I stalked quickly back to my house. He walked down the street with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. We both knew what would happen now. We would never see each other again. But that's what happened when you broke promises. Something would come to bite you in the butt no matter how good your intentions were for breaking those promises.

And as the years went on, I eventually forgot about our promise. Though I never forgot the cause for the Anderson family to relocate yet again so that their oh-so-holy son would grow up to be a loving father and husband to a lovely beautiful woman who would give me lots of children. I never resented my parents for making me accept that lifestyle, but I never forgave them either. Though I loved the wife I eventually got I still longed for Kurt, for that day we first met in the bathroom, to that day in the basement when he came out to me. I longed most for the two most meaningful kisses we shared. From our first in the bathroom of the skating rink, to our last when I came out to my parents.

I never told my wife about those times though. Even when she would ask who the pale boy in all of my high school pictures was. I would simply shrug and tell her I didn't remember. Though she could see the look in my eyes that explained more than that.

Promises should never be broken. But there is always those corrupted ones that were meant to be broken. These promises were the gates to the rest of your life. Gates that were locked back up as soon as they opened. Kurt was that corrupted promise that I had been forced to lock up and throw away the key too. But that didn't change the fact that everyday I sat and wondered to myself: _What if we had kept our corrupted promise?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Well here's my next installment of Corrupted Promises :) This chapter focuses on Blaine and where he is now. It talks about his family, his wife, his sons(Joey and Ron), and his daughter-on-the-way****. I decided to add the conflicts that are going on in Blaine's head on a never ending loop while he's dealing with his family and trying to forget Kurt. This may or may not turn into that Brokeback Mountain thing I mentioned before but we'll just see where this goes :) **

**For future reference, I do not own any of the Glee characters that will be mentioned in this story.**

**Enjoy :)**

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><p>Fourteen years. It had been fourteen years since I left Lima and yet I still took time out of my day to think of him. To think of Kurt. Everyday I would take a few minutes just to wish I was still with him. Just to wish I had stayed. Wished I had kept my promise. I would stare longingly at a picture of the two of us holding up a trophy after winning Sectionals. I had been so happy. Not that I wasn't happy now. I was just different now. Different and wishing I could go back to that time when I had all the worry in the world. Oddly all the issues I was facing with, well I missed them. Nowadays I had no worry. I had strain. Just no worry. The only thing I had any reason to get flustered about was planning out a lesson for my freshman class. Being a teacher took a lot out of you. But not as much as being in a relationship with Kurt Hummel. And for some weird reason I missed that. I missed the challenge I had excepted by becoming his friend. I missed the slushies. I even missed the names. It made me feel different. And to me, different was better.<p>

"Reminiscing?" A soft hand touched my bare shoulder. I guess I had zoned out to long, causing my _wife_ to catch me doing such an embarrassing deed. I grabbed her hand as I gazed down at the crinkled picture in my hand. There was no use hiding it now. This wasn't the first time she had caught me looking at Kurt.

"Cleaning, actually." I said as I crumpled the picture and tossed it behind me.

Unfortunately I always underestimated Amelia's catcher skills, and she ended up catching the picture in mid-air. "Why would you throw this away?" She asked. The bed moaned under the weight of her and our soon-to-be daughter. Her brown eyes gazed down at mine and Kurt's smiling faces. She was I beautiful woman. I was surprised anyone like her would end up with someone like me. Someone with so many secrets. So much damage and mystery hidden behind hazel eyes that never showed any emotion I didn't keep under constant control. Her brown curls cupped around her face and shined as early morning sunlight hit every strand. She studied the two boys smiling up at her as she placed her empty hand on her stomach. She always took every moment she got to try and feel little Dani(she generously let me pick the name) kick. She said it connected the two of them. Almost like holding her hand. Her theory was that when the baby was born, their bond would be unbreakable due to all the attention she gave her in the womb. "You two are adorable." She beamed.

It was a shame our love still hadn't grown equal. Of course I loved her with every fiber of my being, but I couldn't deny the feelings that I kept tucked away in a dusty box hidden inside the depths of my brain. In fact I had grown so fond of the woman I couldn't help but spend every second staring at her. All her perfect features. Her smile, her eyes, the way she could light up a room the minute she walked in. She was everything I looked for in a person. And I'm not going to deny I loved being with her every night, always managing to eliminate any air between us. Her being so close kept me safe. It kept me happy. It made me happy that at least for eight hours I could live a normal life without struggling with dirty secrets from my past. Yes, I had gotten over a lot of the feeling since then. But then I would kiss her lips and his taste would fill my mouth. She would laugh and I would picture his face crack open with a smile. Kurt Hummel never ceased to leave my mind. And I hoped he never would.

Seven years we had been together and I still had not confided in Amelia about my brief relationship with Kurt in high school. I hadn't even told her his name. All she knew of him was that we sang together with eleven other kids my sophomore year and were friends. Not even good friends. Just friends. At least that's what I led her to believe. I didn't think she needed to know about the fact I shared my first kiss with a guy. That would just waste all the hard work I had put in to establishing such a sturdy family.

"It's just Kurt." I said, instantly regretting it the second it escaped my lips. I hated the off days I had where I had no control on what I said.

She looked surprise. "You've never told me his name before." She said. I wondered what was going through her head as she slowly traced his smile. She said what I was hoping she wouldn't, "What was so special about this Kurt?" I really didn't want to answer that, but this was _my wife_.

I twiddled with my fingers, racking my brain for a reply. She studied the picture some more, trying to put a puzzle together through all the wrinkles. Finally I sighed and said, "We just went through a lot together."

She captured my eye in a nonbreakable gaze. And for a few moments I thought that she had figured me out. "Define a lot." She said in an all knowing voice.

"Complicated." I said.

She nodded knowingly, her soft brown curls bounced with her head. "Understandable." She said, starting to trace my smile now. She took in the boy that was rested in her hands. The boy who just fourteen years ago had been me. Only problem was, I wasn't him anymore. I didn't know him. He was absent minded. He was young. He was stupid. All he cared about was keeping his love from his parents. He didn't have nearly as much strain on him than I had. He wasn't facing the conflict I was. Back then he knew who he wanted to be - though he never admitted it. Now here he was, trying to get over this sixteen year old version of himself. The only problem was that I knew I could never do that.

Amelia, sensing I was going into one of my moods, kissed me slowly. Cupping my face gently, it was almost like she was whispering encouragement into my opened lips. I took her into my arms and pulled her close to me. The baby bumped me slightly but right now I didn't care. I needed her close to me. I needed to make sure I was living what I thought I was living. A lie. A lie that made everyone happy. My parents, Amelia, my boys, my soon-to-be daughter. I needed everyone to be happy. Except for me. I didn't care about me anymore. Even if I thought I did. But that wasn't true, because if I cared about me even a little bit, I wouldn't be here right now. Curled up into this beautiful woman. Our lips melting together. Our bodies nearly becoming one. _God I love these moments._

Her hands tangled in my hair. She crawled on my lap, being very careful with her protruding belly. She giggled as I fell back on the bed. She pinned me to the bed. We couldn't get closer then this.

"I love you." I breathed. This shocked us both considering I never said those words much. It was always shadowed or gingered to make it something much less then the three words they substituted. But this time I meant it. At this moment, I couldn't have loved her more.

She smiled and reached down for a kiss. "I love you too." Never had she gotten the chance to add that last word. I could tell she greatly appreciated this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I had thrown her way. For fear of ruining the moment, she positioned herself next to me and snuggled into my chest. I hugged her tightly, her breath tickled my bare skin. I looked down at her and realized I could've never done any better. No one felt more perfect at that moment. And no one would ever feel that perfect. That real. Until I saw the picture. It had fluttered to the floor. Only Kurt's face was visible. Now everything felt wrong...

I pretended to be shocked by something. Sitting up quickly, making her have to also sit up. She looked at me in surprise. Her eyes were hurt, but there was understanding behind them. I checked the digital clock beside the bed and breathed a sigh of relief.

8:00...

This gave me a reason to spoil the moment.

"I have to get to work." I said, sliding off the bed and into a pair of house slippers. I started to look through my pile of work papers, searching for test I was positive I had neglected to grade. Relieved I found them, I shuffled to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of coffee. The second I glanced at the tests I immediately regretted leaving bed. I wanted to write: _STUPID!_ On every one of them. Students depressed me.

Fortunately Amelia came bustling into the kitchen after me. Spray bottle in hand. _Uh oh. _She gave me a couple squirts. Whenever anyone got out of hand, she loved the to give them a few warning squirts. They were playful gestures of course but it was still embarrassing. Though I often laughed whenever she punished the boys(we had twins; five years old). They would open their mouths widely and take in as much water as possible.

"You realize it's inhumane to punish humans that way, right?" I said, wiping water off my face. Wait, no, it tasted bitter and sweet. Lemonade. The boys must have gotten to the bottle recently.

"It's Saturday, Blaine. Today you're mine." She grabbed the papers away from hands and threw them in our junk drawer. "Get ready because we're going to greet the new neighbors. Please have something decent on by the time i get the boys dressed." She ordered, setting the spray bottle in front of me.

"If I'm all yours today, then why are we spending it at our neighbors house?" I asked. The temptation of surprising delicious lemonade took over me and I put a couple of squirts into my mouth. "Ahh." I sighed blissfully and playfully, almost provoking her with my childish antics.

Her lips perched and she snatched the bottle back. "Shower, change, gel. Now." She reprimanded.

I raised an eyebrow. "Who says I'm gelling my hair today?"

"Me. Now go. You have thirty minutes." She headed upstairs but I could tell she was listening to everything I was doing. Which was absolutely nothing. "I'm going to start counting."

I held my place.

"Blaine! One! Two!-"

"Three!" I taunted, sneaking up behind her. She yelped and fell backwards. Thank God I was right there to catch her. "Calm down. We got all day to visit the neighbors."

Her eyes were pleading. "Blaine, please."

I couldn't deny her when she had her puppy dog face on. "Fine."

Twenty minutes of sitting in the shower doing basically nothing later, I stepped out into an incredibly cold bathroom. Quickly I reached for a towel but found none. Amelia was always forgetting to replace the towels on the towel rack. I cursed her silently and, praying she wasn't already in the room getting ready, walked out in the nude. The room was still and the blinds on the window were slightly opened. I crouched and snuck over to close them before anyone caught a peek of my gems. Just as I reached up to pull that tiny string that would hide me away from the world, I saw a tall figure. He was coming out of the new neighbors house. Clumsily, he jumped in a car obviously to small for him and drove off. Everything about him screamed familiar. I just couldn't put my tongue on it...

"Blaine, why are you sitting in front of the window naked?" Amelia's voice broke through my thought process and caused me to jump up, probably showing off my goods to the old man jogging down the street.

I quickly crouched back down and faced her awkwardly. Obviously with three children we had had sex, it's just that if we weren't being intimate then her seeing me in all my glory made me feel uncomfortable. I covered my - ahem - wiener with my hands and stared her in the eyes innocently. "There was no towel - I was just trying to get dressed and ready like you told me too."

She smiled and knelt down in front of him. Slowly she reached for my hand and placed it on her stomach. This, for some reason, also made me uncomfortable. "Honey, your penis made this beautiful girl inside of me. I've seen it before. You don't have to hide it from me." Seeing the tense look on my face she gave me back my hand and closed the blinds for me. "You do, however, are not allowed to show Mr. Stephens your jewels."

I blushed and hurried over to my walk-in closet. I had a lot of clothes. Add that with Amelia's clothing and you had two people who just absolutely needed their wardrobes separate. I retreated to the safety behind the closed doors and only turned the light on when I had on underwear. Florescent light filled the medium sized closet and immediately I started searching my favorite outfit. Slipping on a pair of red skinny jeans(twenty-nine and I was still rocking the skinnys), I slipped out of the closet to put on a show for my wife. Her face erupted in an embarrassed smile, but she pulled me close to her. Softly I started humming 'I've Got A Crush On You', and swayed our hips in time with each other. She reached up(yes I had actually grown taller) and gently placed a kiss on my lips. She tried pulling away but I held her there, trying my best to make up for earlier. Pretty confident I succeeded, I slid my hand down her stomach and stopped the moment I felt a kick. Slightly taken aback by the force of the small movement, I jumped a little. Amelia, the saint she is, helped me keep my balance and held my hand in place.

"That's Dani." She said with tears in her eyes. At that moment, I knew she knew that I was going to make everything work from now on. Except I wasn't so sure if I knew that yet. Having a family still seemed like a dream. I felt I would wake up anytime. Fourteen years in the past. Still in Lima. Still with Kurt. Maybe the force of the punch my father had applied to my face fourteen years ago had knock me out for so long I was able to dream my entire life. Maybe...

I hadn't noticed that Amelia was full of crying now. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her reassuringly. "Let's go greet those neighbors." I said, trying to stop her from turning into a ball of emotion. She wiped her eyes and nodded. "You're beautiful." I said, well because I hadn't said it to her in awhile and now seemed like the perfect time.

She smiled as she intently watched me pull on a white shirt and button up a black one over it. I turned to my bed to retrieve a pair of shoes and instead found a bow tie lying on my pillow. I smiled and snapped it on. I was never one for bow ties that had to actually be tied.

Ten minutes later the Anderson's filed out of their house. It took us twenty seconds to walk across the street to the neighbors house, seven seconds for a man to open the door, and not even one second for my stomach to drop to my knees when I recognized the man.

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><p><strong>Oh, who's at the door? :) Please tell me what you think and make any suggestions to help make this story amazing :) Thank you! :)<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Here you go lovely readers :)** **Another installment of the thing that has literally been keeping me from dying. School is so draining and writing just makes everything better :) Though it often takes over my entire life -.- But whatever it's fun and I like pleasing people :) And whoever was able to guess who was at the door last chapters, well, gets absolutely nothing because I can't offer you anything more virtual hugs and high fives. So sorry :) Anyways I hope you like this :) I had a lot of fun writing this part for some reason :P Some guy in my class stole my notebook while I was writing this part and quickly gave it back, cheeks flooded a bright red I didn't know was possible. He just doesn't understand the beauty of Klaine as much as I do :3**

**Anyways! I'll let you read now :) **

**I do not own Glee or the characters. I'm pretty sure I don't even own the characters I created and put into this story(Amelia, Joey, and Ron) And yes the twins are inspired by Joey Richter and Ronald Weasley. I love them both and had to put them in there somehow. Not quite sure if you're going to see a lot of them in this story though. If you want more twins though, just ask and it shall be yours :)**

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><p>"Mr. Hummel." My wife said to the man at the door. She extended her hand and he took it in his own gingerly. "I'm Amelia Anderson. We live across the street. This is my husband, Blaine." She gestured to me. "And our boys, Joey and Ron." Her hand left his and settled on the backs of the twins. "I just wanted to be the first to welcome you to the neighborhood." Her smile was almost blinding.<p>

The elderly man frowned at me, his eyebrows rose in suspicious. I smiled and offered my hand. He took it and shook it firmly. "Call me Burt." He stepped aside to let us through the door. "Come in and get comfortable."

The four of us, followed by Burt, walked in cautiously and took in the chaos of the newly settled home. Cardboard boxes and bubble wrap littered the floor. There was no furniture to be seen. Burt settled himself on a sturdy box and gestured for us to do the same. The boys took a section of the floor and picked at the shag rug. Amelia and I took cardboard boxes and slid them side by side. The boxes caved slightly under our weight, causing our knees to rise under our chins. I stifled a laugh seeing the difficulty Amelia was having trying to get comfortable.

"Sorry for the lack of things. We would of had everything set up by now but our sons are a little late. Our youngest was here earlier but left to pick up his brother at the airport." Burt said.

I choked at the statement, though thankfully it went unnoticed. Sons. Kurt and Finn. They were suppose to be here. They could be here any minute. If that happened, I don't know if I had the strength to take control of the situation that would without a doubt take place. My breathing became heavy and my palms got incredibly sweaty. My legs started to shake, which caused my head to bounce uncontrollably.

Burt interrupted my panic attack. "Blaine you look awfully familiar. Have we met before?" He squinted and studied my eyes for the answer I wasn't prepared to give. Now I had only met the Hummels once when me and Kurt were together, so I wasn't extremely worried about Burt recognizing me. But if what he said was true and Kurt and Finn were expected to show up any time now, then I was - in words put as appropriate as possible - fucked.

Again Burt interrupted my thoughts. "Carole, come here. The neighbors are here." Carole was a slightly different story. Supposedly she had a knack for remembering faces. Kurt had said that she could run into an old elementary school mate and the names would just roll off her tongue as if she had seen them everyday of her life, when in actuality years would've passed. Unfortunately for me, the minute I was introduced to Carole she had stated, "I'm definitely going to remember that mop." And since I had been neglecting my hair recently, it was much like it was when i lived in Lima.

Carole came in and shocked me by how much she hadn't changed. Compared to Burt she seemed almost immortal, with the expectation of a few grey hairs, a little weight loss, and a couple of wrinkles. She smiled at us and shook each of our hands.

"Carole, these are the Andersons. Amelia, Joey, Ron, and Blaine." He said my name with familiarity that I was sure he was going to out me any minute now.

When Carole grabbed my hand, she looked straight into my eyes and squinted the same way Burt had. She gave me a once over. Taking in my signature red pants, yellow shoes, black shirt, bow tie, and of course gelled hair. Why in the world would I choose an outfit so... Blaine?

I saw her lips silently mouth the words, _"that hair"_ , and her eyes sparked with the connection that Burt had probably yet to figure out. I'm sure by now she was greatly confused by my presence in her house, with a wife, and basically three kids. Especially since her and Burt were the only people, besides the glee club, to know about my relationship with Kurt.

Her gaze shifted to Amelia, then back at me, then to Amelia again, but his time looking at her stomach. "It's nice to meet you all." She said in an all to friendly tone. She beamed at Amelia in all her pregnant glory. "Is it a boy or a girl?" She asked, crouching down in front of her to be eye to eye.

Amelia smiled brightly and placed her hand on her stomach. "It's a girl. She's due in December." She reached over and grabbed my hand. "We've always wanted a girl." I never understood why women gave useless information to people they hardly knew.

Carole beamed even brighter, if that was even possible. "Do you have a name yet?"

Amelia nodded and looked over at me. All I did was nod which got me a stern look from her. I slunk deeper into the box. Amelia sighed. "Dani. Blaine chose the name. We both like names that could fit easily with both genders. And Dani was my sisters name." I hoped Amelia was going to go personal on the Hummels already and give more information they obviously didn't need.

"That's lovely." Was all Carole said as she rose from her place on the floor. She crossed over to Burt and flung her arms around his neck. "Well you have come just in time. I've just finished icing a cake for Burt. Tomorrow is his birthday but we decided to have a small celebration before the chaos I have planned for tomorrow."

Amelia looked uncertain. "Well we don't want to impose." She said kindly.

The boys turned their hazel eyes on me, pleading to have me put my opinion in. When I didn't, they did the typical Anderson thing and turned to Carole with the same puppy dog eyes.

Joey, the kinder of the two, sweetly asked Carole what flavor the cake was. When she replied chocolate with a German coconut icing, Joey's face lit up and without even asking the question Carole nodded.

"It's no trouble at all Amelia." She ruffled the boys heads and told them to follow her into the kitchen. Amelia, Burt, and myself followed suit. I was surprised to see that the kitchen was already fully furnished. There was a small island in the center of the room, with three chairs on each side. Aside from bags and more cardboard boxes all over the counter, it seemed quite neat. Amelia and I sat across from each other on the island chairs, the boys sitting on my side, and Burt sitting next to Amelia. Carole served us each a piece of cake then sat down and laced her fingers in Burt's, planting a small yet passionate kiss on his cheek. He smiled foolishly as he took a bite of cake, then looked at us to do the same.

For twenty minutes, Amelia, Burt, and Carole held idle chit chat and the boys were discussing things they had learned in school. I was the only one silent, looking down at my plate trying to figure out what to do if Kurt and Finn happened to arrive while we were still there. I spaced out while studying the way the coconut frosting swirled over the large piece of cake Carole had served me. It was almost hypnotizing, and by the time I was spoken too I was so far in my mind I didn't here anything. It wasn't until Amelia loudly cleared her throat that I was pulled from my thoughts.

I looked up with a puzzled look on my face. Carole smiled while Amelia gave me yet again another stern look. I knew that she would be bringing up my behavior the moment we got back home.

"Carole was just saying that she's from Lima, Ohio." Amelia informed me. I raised an eyebrow and stared at Carole.

"Have you heard of it?" Carole asked me. Great, I had gone a total of twenty minutes without saying a word and now Carole's snooping was going to ruin everything. I was trying to have Amelia take care of all the talking considering my voice hadn't changed much from when I was in high school. But it was no use now, I was trapped.

I coughed nervously and swallowed the lump in my throat. "I've heard of it." I said in a voice way deeper than I had intended.

I felt all eyes on me. All holding confusion and a little bit of frustration. Feeling foolish I cleared my throat and tried again. "I actually lived in Lima for my sophomore year of high school." I figured there was no need to lie anymore considering how cocky Carole was becoming.

Speaking of Carole, she smiled with victory nearly erupting off of her. I could almsot smell her confidence. "Lima's pretty small. I'm assuming you knew most of the people there." She pressed, probably hoping to break me soon.

I shrugged, though in my head I was thinking, _"shut up Carole."_

"My son, Kurt, was very, how do I put this? Well he was very - well known. I'm sure you knew him?" I wanted to wipe that smirk off her face.

Looking up, I pretending to be in deep thought. "The name certainly does ring a bell. Though it's been a long time so I'm not sure." I was frantically praying to God that Amelia did not recognize the name from our earlier conversation.

Carole nodded and threw me a skeptical look. For now I had won, but in her eyes I saw her thinking of more ways to get me to crack.

"Well we better get going." Amelia cut in. God I loved how she knew me so well. Though the tone of her voice said she'd be questioning me later about the subject.

"Of course." Carole said pleasantly. Burt sighed and gave her a look that I took as _"I'm on to you."_

"But before you leave." Carole piped up, despite Burt's glares. She raised an eyebrow and continued, "I would just like to invite you to our housewarming party slash Burt's' birthday party."

"Oh we would be delighted." Amelia said cheerfully. It amazed me how friendly women were towards each other even if they didn't know the other very well.

"Barbeque starts up at two." Burt blurted out. "You like barbeque, Blaine?"

"Oh yeah, of course." I said, trying to sound like I was greatly interested in the subject of grilled meat.

Carole smiled again. "And Amelia I hate to bother you like this, but my friend who offered to help set up for the party has unfortunately bailed on me." She gave her an innocent look that pretty much summed up the rest of the request. She was going to do anything to _literally out_ me.

"Carole, I would be more than happy to help. Shall we say, noon?" Amelia asked. I slowly started to herd the boys to the door.

"Sounds perfect." Carole said looking at me. "And I suggest you bring him along. We'll need some extra arms." She winked at me as if this was some long running inside joke the two of us shared. "Oh and Blaine." She said when Amelia had already exited the door and had walked a couple of feet down the walk way.

I turned nervously. Why wasn't there a window wiper for faces. "Yeah Carole?"

"It was nice seeing you again. I'm sure Kurt will be delighted when he finds out you're our new neighbor. I'll be sure to tell him you say hi." She winked at me again, but this time it sent chills down my spine. Whatever was going to happen tomorrow was not going to be good. It would possibly crumple the life I had worked seven long years on. I cursed under my breath as I waved to her. It took all of my strength not to flip her off. Finally she closed the door. Finally putting some some distance between us. Maybe this would be it. Maybe I was over. Maybe my marriage would end. I would possibly lose my job. Because honestly who wants a gay teacher teaching English at a public school? No, I could move. I could get through this somehow.

_Or you could just tell everyone. You could stop lying. _

I pushed that thought aside and continued with my contemplation on how much money it would take for us to move to California and pose as some famous reality TV family.

_That would take a lot of bribing. A lot of - ahem - dick sucking. Metaphorically, of course._

Oh my God I was a monster.

I don't even know how I managed to walk across the street. Or how I managed to end up curled up on the couch, staring outside the window. I don't even remember warding Amelia off after she went off on me for acting so bizarre. All I know is I didn't move from the couch all day. Burt said they were coming. So I waited. I waited to see him. I waited for that moment when his leg would stick out of the car. The moment when my heart would beat out of my chest and explode all at the same time. That moment when my legs would become weak, even if I were sitting down. My lips would dry, thirsty for Kurt's. My head would spin, wanting Kurt's fingers tangled in my hair. My hands would ache, waiting for Kurt's to grab them and slip his perfectly fitted fingers into my own. I whined with anticipation. My body shook with anxiety. I was a wreck.

Once in a while Amelia would come sit next to me. Try to comfort me. Unintentionally I would end up pushing her away. Rather it be with a small gesture of a shoulder turning the other way. Or a simple word uttered almost so no one could hear it but me. But yet I still pushed her away. And yet she came back trying harder and harder to get closer to me. Her last attempt was defeated not by me, but by the tall figure I had spotted earlier that morning. Finn. He awkwardly rose from the tiny car, bustling to the other side to open the door for someone. And that's when I saw _him_. I saw him in all his glory. Everything was slowed down as he exited the car. He looked like a movie star. Tall, lean, and more important than anyone in the entire world.

And there it was. The beating heart, the wobbly legs, the dry lips, the dizziness, the ache that made my entire body feel dead. I needed him. I needed him at that moment more than I needed to breath. I needed to tell him that right now. I needed to tell him that leaving him was the hardest thing I had ever had to do and that it had taken all my strength not to go crawling back to him after all those years. I wanted to crawl to him then. I needed to crawl to him right now. I needed him to tell me that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I wanted to rekindle our love. I wanted his lips against mine. I wanted his hand in my hand. His body against mine. Us turning into one...

I wanted him.

I needed him.

I quickly ran to the bedroom. Sleep would solve everything. I would wake up in the morning and everything would turn out to be a dream. I would find out that the Hummels didn't really move across the street. I would find out that Kurt was not at this very moment a few yards away from me. I would find out that I wasn't married. I had no kids. I wasn't a day over fifteen. And I wasn't gay. I wanted to start over.

No, I wanted to sleep. But first I had to reassure myself that I hadn't just wished away everything. I took a peek out the window and there he was. Right in front of my fucking house. With Burt. They were talking and Burt was inconspicuously pointing in my direction. That's when our eyes met. Or that's when I thought our eyes had met. _He _glanced in my direction and I felt my heart flutter. For the longest time I watched him and Burt talk.

_They must be talking about me._

It was dark. It was so dark. I didn't know I had spent that much time on the couch. I glanced at the clock.

8:52

Damn. I looked back at Kurt and his father as they turned around and walked more slowly back towards their house. Our eyes met again. This time I swore our eyes met. It was like a magnetic connection. Our eyes _found _each other. It was like our eyes needed each other more than we did. Unintentionally my hand flew up. I was reaching out to him. I wanted him to reach out to me too. I wanted more then our eyes to connect.

But then he ran.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello people :) This update is slightly late but I'm on break and have had way to much free time to do something production :PP Plus I haven't had computer access for about 2 weeks. Anywhozzles! This chapter is mainly in Kurt's POV but there is a switch towards the end. I'll add one of those little break thingys so you know where that is ;D Honestly this chapter isn't my favorite because I feel it lacks something that some of the other chapters possess. That may mainly be because I wrote it in about an hour and a half so yeah. Enjoy!**

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><p>Quickly I snuck a peek to the house Burt was inconspiciously pointing at. He was advising me not to stare to long taking into consideration the dark finger looming behind one of the windows. Heart beating faster then it had in years, I studied the shadow. I got down every curve of the inknown persons body and finally stopped when I took in the mess of curls I prayed I wasn't imagining.<p>

_That could be him._

"Him and his _wife_ came to the house earlier," Said my father, interrupting my thoughts. When he was sure he had captured my attention again, he continued. "She's a sweetheart." He cooed with a sly smile then met the gaze I was giving him. A stern look washed over his face. "But him - he changed, Kurt. I mean of course he's still Blaine but he seemed, different. I can't quite put a name to it though." My father was always certain to have his tone say what he didn't. At the moment it was advising me to avoid Blaine. Though he knew full well I wouldn't do that.

Wife or no wife.

Like hell was I going to let a strange twist of fate like this escape from my grasp. Even if I couldn't get him back, we could at least talk about what we have both inevitably thinking for the past fourteen years. Though right now the look my father was giving me was making me think that maybe I could just escape right now. Maybe I could just hop back in that car, go to the airport, and take a plane back to New York. Maybe I could just slink back to my safe haven. My little studio in Syracuse.

After dropping my gaze from my fathers tantalizing looks, I took to kicking pebbles at my feet. Finding a particularly large stone to kick, I kept my eyes glued on the pavement, not daring to look back at my dad.

How could he possibly expect me to just let Blaine slip away from me again? Sure he may have a wife and he may have changed slightly but why should that stop me from at least getting some answers? Honestly all I wanted to know was if he still loved me like I loved him. Of course fourteen years had put a thick fog over most of my feelings. Truth be told on most days I would just sit in my studio wondering if I really did even have any more feelings for him. Sad to say but more than once I had thought that maybe I really didn't.

A throat cleared beside me and the stone rolled out of my reach. Sighing heavily, I glanced back to the window. My heart exploded when I was able to make out curls again.

_Why hadn't he moved yet?_

"I don't think it's possible for him to change." I said finally, trying to smile. "Even if he tried to, Blaine will always be Blaine." I locked eyes with Burt. "He'll always be that little sheltered fifteen year old. He'll always be confused. And especially he'll always be strong."

The corners of Burt's eyes gleamed with tears of sympathy just as mine stung with tears of just longing. If I really did believe what I had said then Blaine would need me, especially since he knew I was right next door. He would need someone to tell him what he was feeling wasn't bad. Just like it had been in high school. Too many times he had ran to me, scared and asking me if it was okay what he was feeling. To which I would often just hold him and reassure him that no matter what anyone told him, his feelings were completely normal.

Oh God how I wanted to hold him again. My arms were literally twiching with anticipation.

Burt put on a hand on my shoulder, again pulling me out of my thoughts. We were now stopped right in front of the window.

"Just don't get your hopes up, alright?" His eyes pierced into mine, making it almost impossible to protest.

I nodded reluctantly though I wanted to shout in his face that he didn't know Blaine. He couldn't possibly understand the feelings we shared. But then again, fourteen years had past. Who was I to say that I even understood what we had? I sighed heavily, trying not to burst out in tears. To keep my mind busy I started walking again as Burt started going through what was probably going to happened tomorrow.

"So Carole went ahead and invited him and his wife to come help prepare for the party. They'll be at the house around noon." He stopped again, making me face him and look him straight in the eye. "Now Kurt, he's probably going to deny that he knows you. If we don't think of anything sooner I am begging you to please just go along with it. Or at least just act like you two just barely knew each other, if not at all. Now I'm not telling you not to confront him. In fact I think confronting him would be very wise. Just don't rush into it." He started walking again. "Just - just don't try _anything. _ He has kids, Kurt. With another on the way. Just leave him be."

I didn't even bother stopping the tears I had been holding in. My world blurred as I looked back at the window at the silhouette that was still lingering just beyond the curtains. Now I was positive that was him. "Dad, y-you do realize w-what you're asking, right?"

"I just don't want to see you getting hurt again." Burt said earnestly.

"But he loved me." I choked out.

Burt snorted unintentionally, blushing when he saw my hurt look. "Yes Kurt, _loved_." The emphasis on the last word stung me. It picked at the parts of my heart that all these years had yet to reach. Because now I was focused on something that had nibbled my mind for many years now.

_What if he moved on. What if he doesn't feel anything towards me anymore?_

Burt grabbed both of my shoulders and stared at my face, almost to my eyes but not quite meeting them. "I just don't want either of you doing anything stupid."

I chuckled coldly at the seriousness in his voice. "Well if he's changed like you say he has, then I will be the only one making a fool of myself." The tears had stopped by now, mainly from the odd comfort I was getting from my fathers hold on me. Though now my face stung as those tears dried and the brisk November air was tickling my cheeks. I struggled to swallow the lump in my throat as I peered past Burt at the empty street.

My mind screamed to look at the window one last time.

Burt sighed. "Just think about it before you jump into anything. You know, make a game plan."

I nodded and pulled out of his grasp, walking past him to go back to the house. At least that way I could lock myself in the guest bedroom and cry to my hearts content. I cursed silently to myself when my eyes automatically went back to the shadow in the window. It was still there. No, _he_ was still there. I knew it was him. I wouldn't feel like this if it wasn't. There wouldn't be butterflies in my stomach if it wasn't him.

And he knew it was me. And now for a moment, for maybe just a millisecond, I could've sworn our eyes locked. Blue and hazel connecting and making this magical bridge of intense wanting. The fog that had me thinking nothing was still between us cleared as my eyes bore into those beautiful hazel gems beyond the window blinds. Was he smiling?

All of those wounds that had been made over a period of _fourteen_ years were slowly tearing back open and rapidly healing. Because just for that moment, I felt as though maybe everything was where it should be. Me loving him. Him loving me in return. And just for that moment, I was back to that day. The day he told me he loved me.

But now I was wishing I didn't have such an overactive imagination. That way I wouldn't have imagined him waving at me. Then maybe I wouldn't have started crying again.

Again my world became a blur of colors as I ran back to the safety of the house. Burt followed me, slightly slower, calling my name the entire time.

The minute I was inside and secure in the shelter of my temporary home I locked myself in the guest bedroom like I had been longing to do. I sank down onto the bed and buried my face in a pillow, trying hard to muffle my loud sobs. Every part of me shook as I pictured the shadow in my head. Eventually the shadow slowly started getting color. Then he had a face. By the time Finn came into the room, I had already put together what I imagined Blaine to look like now. Judging from the silhouette, I was guessing his hair had grown back to its original state. His eyes were still filled with curiosity but now had more experience tucked inside them. I couldn't help but smile as I thought of him having a little scruff on his face, adding to the distinguished macho man I was imagining him to be now. I whined silently as my vision traveled down to the rest of his body. No longer was he sporting adorable capris pants, or fancy oxford shoes. In my mind, bow ties were a thing of the past for him. Right now I imagined him wearing a pair of comfortable jeans, a light colored shirt - v neck most likely. Now I was really smiling.

The bed creaked under Finns weight as I finally pulled out of my fantasy. I turned away from him, not wanting him to see my face red and puffing.

"Hey man, are you okay?" He asked timidly.

Wiping at my face viciously, I slowly turned to him. "I saw him." I said, barely audible.

"You saw who?" He asked in a whisper.

"Blaine." I said in a normal tone now so that he would understand that it was alright to be talking at such a volume.

His eyes widened. "What happened? What did he say?"

"He was inside his house, Finn. I saw him through the window. We couldn't exactly carrying a conversation." I felt a tinge a guilt when I heard how harsh the words had come out.

"You were looking through his window?" Finn asked way louder than acceptable.

Now I had a reason to get annoyed. "No Finn _I_ was not looking through his window. _He_ was looking through his window at me while I was talking to dad."

Finns mouth formed an "oh" though I was sure he was still confused.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked after a moments silence.

_Ah, there it was._

"Geez Finn why don't you take a wild guess?" I choked hoarsely. Hoping he would still catch the sarcasm in my hurt tone. But unfortunately he didn't get it so I had to continue. "Fourteen years Finn. It's been fourteen fucking years and I finally feel that maybe just maybe I'm finally getting over this guy and in he comes into my life again as the neighbor to my father? And I'm out there with dad and I have to take in everything right there. Like the fact that he has a wife and three kids!" The words stung as they came out because of how much they were bringing me to reality. I slunk back into the pillow and sobbed some more until I felt that I had no more tears left. I was surprised I even had tears left in me after nearly fourteen years of crying.

Now that I was finally thinking about it, I felt absolutely disgusting about the fact that Blaine was holding someone else every night. I nearly vomited when I thought about what went down in order for them to have kids. I lied there and sobbed and wished and prayed. I sobbed because Blaine wasn't mine anymore and all to soon, I was going to have to deal with that. I wished that maybe just one more time I could taste his lips on mine, or feel his skin on my skin, hold his hand in mine. And I prayed that by some miracle Blaine still felt something toward me. Even if was just him missing me ever so slightly. Or maybe just him thinking about me once in a while. At least I could be happy as long as I was on his mind.

Finally Finn spoke up. "Oh well I'm sorry man. But, I mean, did you really expect him to still be, uh, gay after all these years. Especially considering those God awful parents of his." His voice was filled with sincerity.

I sat up slowly, though not wanting to look at Finn, I just kept my eyes on my knees. "I just thought that m-maybe if we ever d-did meet again that it would be how I've been dreaming it would be. Our eyes would meet and we would get struck with sudden realization like: 'oh hey, there you are!' And then we would hug and everything would end happily ever after like the way it was suppose to be." I wiped tears from my eyes and chuckled a little at my stupidity. With my eyes beginning to water again, this time stinging a little, I finally looked at Finn. "I still love him. I thought I didn't but seeing him tonight just made all those emotions I had been forced to lock away just suddenly burst out like tiny little rockets. And it hurts because I know now he can't love me back. I know now that he most likely doesn't."

Finn, being the kind but awkward brother that he was, scooted closer to me. His arm lingered above my shoulder before he decided to actually comfort me. "I wish I could tell you that your life will be some big fairy tale, but - I - you're almost thirty man. Fairy tales are a thing of the past. It's time to accept reality. And though sometimes that seems scary you have to do it because it will be better for you in the end. You need to stop pretending that you and Blaine are going to live some sort of fairy tale ending. It's been fourteen years man. It's time to accept that that train left a long time ago." When I started to cry again, his hand began rubbing circles on my back reassuringly.

I leaned into his touch and rested my head on his chest. Being around each other so much had eventually made us grow comfortable enough with each other that these little splurges of affection weren't uncommon now.

For a long while we both sat there in silence. The only noises were my silent sobs and Burt and Carole muttering somewhere in another part of the house.

Eventually I got sleepy and thanked Finn for the talk, dismissing him to go his own way while I prepared for bed. After a very long shower I slumped back down on the nice comfortable bed that I noticed had clean sheets on it.

_Carole must've changed them while I was in the shower._ I thought to myself as I sunk lower into the fabric, taking in the strong scent of ocean breeze. I knew this scent well.

Closing my eyes tightly I tried to drift off to sleep, only to be taunted by the imagine of Blaine at the window. His charming smile dashed across my vision, glowing and becoming more clear the more I thought about it. His hazel eyes pierced into mine as the vision became more vivid. He reached out to touch me, only to be stopped short by me grabbing him instead. I turned his hand over into mine for a while, testing the way it felt in mine. Not satisfied I gave it back to him and came closer. The closer I got, the younger he became. The experience I had pictured in his eyes slowly vanished and was replaced with the all to familiar curiosity they once held. Still he smiled at me and attempted to touch me again, but when his fingers came in contact with my skin I felt nothing. I guess fourteen years of not seeing each would give these fantasy a little less of an intimate feel.

Before long I had drifted off into something that wasn't quite a dream but had that feel to it. It was more of a daydream during night. So basically I was fully conscious but my mind was in a different place. And that place was Blaine. I played over what I thought would happen tomorrow again and again until I was giddy with anticipation. By the time I actually did end up falling asleep I was in Blaine's arms and we were happily rekindling our love.

I really wish I didn't have such an overactive imagination.

* * *

><p><strong>Back to Blaine's POV<strong>

The alarm clock whined nosily next to me. The noise filled my ears and circled around my brain as I tried to find the snooze button. Finally finding it I smacked it with a little to much force, causing it to fly off of the bedside table. I made a grab for it, missing, but managing to see the time.

11:45

_Dammit._

I jumped out of bed and finally noticed I was alone. Slipping on pants and slippers I shuffled into the kitchen in search of human life. There was none but on the counter I found a plate of Poptarts and a note. Deciding to pick up the Poptart first I bit into, and simply stood there enjoying the gooey warmth. Finally I picked up the note and scanned over it.

_Blaine,_

_I let you sleep in but I want you at the Hummels as soon as you wake up. Please hurry and I beg you to try and not put ice cream on your Poptarts. The boys are at Jimmy's so you don't have to worry about them. Again, no ice cream, I expect you here soon._

_-Love_

_Amelia_

"Pfft." I snorted as I slid over to the freezer. Hastily I opened it and went on a search for my favorite kind of frosty treat. Grabbing a small container, I smiled to myself as I popped open the lid and grabbed a spoon for a drawer. "Ah, good morning Ben. How you doing Jerry?" Just as the ice cream was about to slide onto my last pastry my phone rang loudly from the kitchen table. Oddly I hadn't even remembered having the phone at the table.

Quickly after I had clicked the answer button Amelia's voice filled the kitchen. "Good morning darling. First off let me just say that everyone is waiting for you and second off, put that ice cream down."

The ice cream plopped loudly onto the Poptart just as I said, "How the-"

"You think I don't know you by now? I can practically smell the nauseating combination of ice cream and potato chips from here."

I let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. Anyways what's up? How are things going over there with the new bestie, Carole?" I chuckled at my own joke, scooping a finger full of ice cream in my mouth.

"Good," Amelia sighed. "Carole is interesting. But we really need your help over here. Apparently only one of Carole's sons are capable of moving heavy objects. The other has just been lingering. He's kind of creepy." She whispered the last sentence for the reason I'm assuming the Hummels were close by.

I laughed nervously. "You met their sons?"

"Yeah. Speaking of which, here I am sitting across the table from one of them and I'm staring into his gorgeous blue eyes-" She got to see his eyes before me. I felt like crying. "And I'm thinking to myself, 'Wait! I've seen those eyes somewhere!' Wanna know where I've seen them?"

_Crap..._

"Where?" I inquired innocently.

"That freaking picture you're always staring at!" She shouted. I really hoped she was alone at the moment. "Why didn't you just tell me that you knew the Hummels? Why didn't you tell me that Kurt was _that_ Kurt? It's because he's gay, isn't it?" The word 'gay' escaped her lips in such a way that I found myself beginning to fill with anger.

"What? Amelia, no no no, if you're suggesting what I think you are then stop your assumptions right now. I am not _ashamed_ of Kurt. I have never been ashamed of Kurt, nor will I ever be." I said, also being reduced down to whispering for no reason.

"Then why have you been hiding him for seven years?"

_Ouch..._

"I'll be there in ten minutes." Before she could say anything, I hung up and threw the phone across the counter. I sunk down into the security of my hands and try to calm my beating heart.

_Damn. Dammit. Dammit. Shit. Fu-_

No, no feeling helpless. Not today. Today was the day to take charge and to finally have some control over my emotions. Today you are going to go over there, act like you barely know Kurt. You are then going to proceed that you and your wife are madly in love with absolutely no faults between you two. Which should be true...

My heart raced the entire I got dressed. It grew louder the more time passed. My hands shook as I slipped on a sweater and then reached to grab a... bow tie? Dare I go Blaine when I planned to act like the complete opposite? No. That means no gel...

After releasing a heavy sigh and trying once again to steady myself, I decided to completely change my outfit. This meant my lazy outfit, which Amelia hated, which meant Kurt might hate it too. At least if they were both unattracted to me then I had a shot to get out of this alive. After much searching I finally decided on a light purple v-neck, jeans(which may or may not have been slightly similar to my huge collection of short capris), and plain beige oxfords.

_Alright._

_Ready._

_Now you're not._

Right.

Glasses.

Yellow? No.

Pink? Maybe?

Red? Better.

Check.

_You're an idiot._

Clump. Clump. Clump.

When did I even leave the house?

My shoes clicked loudly on the pavement as I walked across the street. Eyes adverted to the welcome mat, I cautiously knocked on the door.

Seriously, how did I get here so fast?

There were voices inside that vanished as soon as I dropped my hand to my side. I guessed it would take at least ten seconds to open the door.

10

"Hold on!" Chimed a voice I recognized as Carole. Though oddly it sounded as if if was moving farther away from the door instead of coming towards it.

9

8

There were heavy footsteps heard from the other side of the door. Way to heavy to be Carole's.

7

6

Now I could practically feel eyes watching me.

5

4

The door slowly creaked open. My eyes stayed firm to a little piece of lint on the mat I had been previously staring at.

3

2

There was a deep breath as someone prepared to speak.

1

"Blaine." Breathed the person at the door.

I looked up and felt my jaw drop to the floor.

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><p><strong>Bleh! Confession: I have writers block and kind of don't know where to go from here. It may take a while for another update but in order for the process to speed up I would greatly appreciate some reviews! I accept suggestions with wide opened arms! Thank you for reading and hopefully I have something for you guys soon!<br>**


	9. Chapter 9

**May I just say how insanely happy I am with everyone who has read this :) Thank you for all the favorites and alerts. I really appreciate that so thank you :)) **

**So here is the next chapter. Sorry for leaving that huge cliffhanger, but anyways now it's gone :)) So anyways, there is a flashback in this chapter that I'm pretty sure won't be that hard to spot since it's italicized. Also towards the end the point of view changes a couple times, I'll put those lines there so it doesn't get confusing. Again thank you for reading and I hope your enjoying it so far because honestly I've been winging this entire story :PP Happy reading!  
><strong>

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><p>"Uh, hi." I spit out awkwardly. I don't know why I was so surprised to see Finn. It could have been for the fact that he looked so much older. His face was slightly larger and littered with stumble that framed chapped lips that were parted in an awed "oh". His hair was more wild but a lot shorter than it had been back then. Short tufts of it shot out at all different angles but oddly looked good. I looked over his body and noted how muscular he had gotten. His plain blue t-shirt strained against muscle as he peered down at me. God he had gotten tall.<p>

"You wa- uh, come in." He stepped aside to let me through. I walked past him then stopped to offer him my hand.

"Blaine Anderson." I said as friendly as possible.

His eyes narrowed but yet he shook my hand. "Finn Hudson."

I leaned in close to whisper in his ear but I noticed all the eyes on me at that point. Clearing my throat loudly, I released Finn from my grasp and raised a shaky hand in a greeting. "Hello Burt, Carole, Amelia," I scanned the room for Kurt but he was nowhere to be found. The only other person in the room besides the people I had just named was-

"Rachel Berry." Said a very perky brunette as she got up to greet me. Her dainty fingers were very tense as I grabbed them and her eyes bore into mine coldly. Yet the look on her face remained welcoming. "You may or may not have heard of me." Her lips parted into a wider smile I could only guess she used for paparazzi attacks. I had heard of Rachel Berry's steady rise to stardom but honestly from the first time I met her I can't say I wasn't surprised.

"It is an absolute honor to meet you Ms. Berry." I said as she finally released my hand.

She raised an eyebrow mysteriously. "Blaine Anderson, that name seems awfully familiar. Have we met before?" Somewhere behind her a throat was cleared. Rachel ducked her head shyly and sat back in her seat.

Getting my own seat next to Amelia, I smiled at her charmingly as whatever conversation I had interrupted started back up again.

"Well I highly doubt the Crawfords will show up because, well, they are a bit like cave creatures." Amelia joked, causing the room to erupt into to-cheerful-to-be-real laughter.

"That just means more food for us then, now don't it?" Burt asked, beaming from ear to ear. It was hard to mirror the expression everyone else wore - pure unadulterated relaxation. How in the world could I relax when Kurt was in the very same household?

The couch groaned next to me. I tilted my heck slightly from it's position on Amelia's shoulder to see who had occupied the spot. Luckily it was just Finn, but that still didn't calm my heart.

Everyone droned on and on about the party for what seemed like ever. So many corny adult jokes were shared that I felt as though I was in one of those old sitcoms. By the time Carole suggested that we all got back to work, I was half asleep on Amelia's shoulder and slowly slipping to rest my head on her chest. She coughed slightly for me to get the hint and I was pulled from my trance.

Carole told Finn and I to go out to the backyard and set up the karaoke machine.

_Of course._

We both were silent as Finn unpacked all the equipment from a box and loaded onto the mini stage that had already been set up. I watched as he worked quickly, untangling cords and nonchalantly taking a peek at me every couple of minutes. When all of the dusty equipment had finally been dumped onto the stage, Finn turned to me running dirty fingers through his hair.

"Give me a hand here, will ya?" He asked quietly, handing over a large stereo and gesturing to a platform on the side of stage. "It goes over there. There should be a plug in somewhere behind it but I'm not sure."

"Alright," I breathed as I heaved the heavy box a total of eight feet away from Finn.

Finn gave me two more minutes of silence before he started his interrogation.

"So Blaine, what you been up to these days?" He asked suspiciously as he dabbled with some microphones.

I sighed as I tried to fins an answer that seemed normal and not like I knew what he was trying to do. "Well I'm a teacher now." I tried and busied myself with fiddling with the wires of the stereo aimlessly as I let my answer process in Finn's brain.

"What subject?" Was all he asked after a minutes of silence. The awkwardness in the air was literally choking at this point.

"English." I muttered.

Again his eyes narrowed as he studied me. "Come again?" He walked up to me so that I was forced to look up at him.

"I, uh, I teach English. Freshman." I stammered.

Finn chuckled as he started hooking up the microphones. "How's that going for you?"

I shrugged as we both started tampering with buttons on the stereo. "It's pretty good I guess. I have about twelve students that have a crush on me. One of them being a boy." I chuckled at the thought of the blonde kid who sat in the back of my fourth period and stared at me with admiration in his eyes the entire class time.

Finn raised his eyebrow. "Is there a problem with that." It wasn't a question because he knew the answer.

_Of course._

I cleared my throat nervously. "Of course not! There is nothing wrong with a boy liking another boy. It's just that he's fifteen years younger than me."

Finn disappeared behind the platform, taking all the stereo cords with him. "Yeah, I get it."

We both stood silent for a little while. Only Finn's grunts of concentration and the connecting of wires to sockets was heard.

Then I started thinking about that boy in my fourth period. The way he always looked so confident when in my class, though the moment he stepped out it was like a giant wall formed around him. He was always pushing people away, mainly because people pushed him. I couldn't count the times I had witnessed the poor boy being slammed into a locker by some punk in a football jacket. And it made me upset because no one ever did anything about it. He would simply stand there and take it. But then again, I never attempted to help the poor kid out.

If only I could tell him about me. Maybe that would help him out, to know that he wasn't alone. At least he would have someone to turn to when he had questions. I may still be deeply confused about everything but I would still be able to help.

_Note to self: Help Jake._

"Try turning it on." Finn said, interrupting my thoughts. I hadn't noticed he had reappeared from behind the stage. His little tufts of hair looked messier than they had before and he had a frustrated look in his eyes.

I nodded and flicked the tiny switch that was marked 'on'. Nothing happened.

"Hmm." Finn mumbled as he grabbed a microphone and blew into it. Still nothing. "Alright well this obviously isn't working. Let me go get someone." He disappeared inside the house and left me alone with thoughts of Jake still fresh in my mind.

_I walked into my classroom just as the final bell had rung, and as expected all my students were out of their seats and being rowdy as ever. As soon as they spotted me though, everyone slunk into their seats and waited patiently for the lesson to begin. _

_"Thank you honor students." I said proudly as I strode to my desk. That's when I noticed the shy blonde boy standing there awkwardly clutching a piece of paper in his hand and smiling sadly down at it. He looked up at the sound of my voice and watched me intently as I approached him. "Hey kiddo, what can I do for you?"_

_He cleared his throat nervously. "Are you Mr. Anderson?"_

_I smiled sweetly at him. "Yes I am. You a new student here?"_

_The fear in his eyes faded slightly as he nodded his head. "Yes sir." _

_"Alright let me get the class situated and then we'll talk about some things." Winking kindly at him, I picked up the role call and took my place at the front of the room. "Okay guys since we will be having a laid back day today I'm going to allow you to sit where ever you want but the minute it gets to rowdy I'm going to tape paper bags over your heads." The class giggled as I put on a charming smile. I loved messing with kids. "Now here is the role call. Please come up slowly and calmly, find your name, check in the appropriate date, and go find a seat. Now if you notice, there is a sign-up section on the back board. Your speeches were due today so I want you to go and sign up, also very slowly and calmly." I met every ready eye in the room, trying to get them as worked up as possible before I let them free. "I'm going to set the role call down now, wait until I am seated before you trample me because we all know and have witnessed that Ricky can actually do that." The class erupted in a fit of laughter as the jock grinned proudly and mumbled something about me being short. I set the clipboard down and dashed back to my desk before a herd of Freshmen had taken over the front of the classroom._

_My attention finally back on the boy, I settled down at a empty desk and gestured for him to sit at my own desk. He smiled shyly at me as he began turning in the rolling chair. Once in a while he would look down at the crumpled piece of paper at smile fondly, his green eyes twinging with tears._

_"That from a friend of yours?" I asked kindly, finally making out the words written on it. _

Remember stay strong. I'll be right behind you.

-Alex

_His cheeks turned bright red as he shoved the paper into his pocket. "Um, yeah, I guess." _

_I nodded as my gaze drifted to the filing cabinet behind his head, the one that held the photo of me and Kurt. Here in school was someplace I wasn't afraid to show this picture, since it was surrounded by pictures of Amelia and the children. I figured, one little photo of Kurt wouldn't hurt, right? I was about to get the picture and explain to him that it was okay to have a friend like that but thought better of it and instead handed him a syllabus. "Now I know it's a little to late in the year to be getting this stack of nonsense, but I just want to make sure you know and understand what goes on in my classroom. You don't need to get it signed, just make sure your parents see that, alright?"_

_He nodded slowly, grazing over the papers. _

_"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." I said after a long pause._

_He looked up at me, his green eyes shining brightly at someone finally being friendly to him. "Jake. Jake Tosh."_

_I extended my hand out to him, still smiling. "Mr. Anderson. But I prefer Mr. B."_

_He pinched the bridge of his nose and giggled softly. "Because Mr. Anderson sounds to much like the Matrix?" _

_I was blown aback. It had been a while since someone had gotten the joke without me having to explain it. I chuckled softly. "Because Mr. Anderson sounds to much like the Matrix." I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper._

"You probably don't even have the microphones plugged in correctly." A voice chimed. It rang in my ears and paralyzed me to the spot. I heard Finn muffle a reply about how he wasn't stupid and the machine was probably just broken but God that other voice. I tried turning my head to see if I heard who I thought I heard but my head wouldn't allow me to move. None of my body was doing what I wanted it to do. My heart wouldn't stop pounding. My hands wouldn't stop shaking. And God how I wish I could just breathe again.

Shuffled footsteps came closer and slowly my body started responding to what my mind was screaming for it to do. My head gradually came up from where it was forcing my eyes to stare at the wire mesh of a microphone and with it my hands started working again. Though they just flew in front of me to grab onto something before I fell down. With wobbly knees, I turned my back to the voices coming closer by the second. I casually leaned on the speaker and prayed to God that I would start breathing again.

To keep myself busy, I started fumbling with the front of my shirt. But when the voices stopped I could do nothing but knot all my fingers together, hoping they would just stop shaking already. The only thing I could hear now was the sound of my heart dying to escape my chest. I was sure even the people in the house would be able to hear it by now.

By the time a throat was cleared right behind me, all of my muscles tensed. This was it. The moment I thought I would be ready for. But I wasn't. I took a deep breath and slowly turned towards Finn and _him_.

* * *

><p><em>Breathe Hummel. Just breathe. You can do this.<em>

* * *

><p><em>He's just Kurt. I mean, you know him, this shouldn't be that hard. Come on Blaine. <em>God, I forgot what air felt like.

* * *

><p><em>Maybe I can sneak away slowly. He wouldn't mind anyways, right?<em>

* * *

><p><em>What am I suppose to say? "Oh hi Kurt, I've been thinking about you for the past fourteen years? Oh your lips look good, mind if I kiss them?"<em>

* * *

><p><em>What am I suppose to say? "Blaine, how've you been? Did you enjoy ruining my life? Oh hey, those pants look uncomfortable, mind if I slip them off?"<em>

* * *

><p><em>Here we go.<em>

* * *

><p><em>Here we go.<em>

"Hi." Kurt said. I couldn't decipher what emotion was reeking from the single word, but his eyes told me the whole story.

That's when I broke.


	10. Chapter 10

**This is a longer version of the last chapter I updated, I said I would revise but I couldn't think of any way to revise it because as I said I have horrible writers block at the moment and everything I'm writing is coming out forced and I am hating myself for how long it's taking me to write this. But here it is anyways! I really hope you guys are enjoying this and are not getting to annoyed at my lack of updating! I really appreciate all of you who have favorited or reviewed this because it seriously means a lot to me, this being my first story on here and all. **

**There are a few songs in this chapter:**

_Thinking of You _**by Katy Perry**

_You Were Always On My Mind _**by Willie Nelson**

_Hallelujah _**by Paramore**

**Enjoy! :)**

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><p>I pulled him into my arms, wanting to feel every inch of his skin - every inch of him. I grabbed viciously at his back, pulling him closer and coming off probably way to savagely. Yet I gripped him tighter, not quite being able to grasp he was actually here, or that this was actually happening. I had him in my arms now and that was all that mattered. I felt as if I would never be able to let him go.<p>

His cheek pressed against mine as he let out a sigh and then slipped his arms around me. He began gripping me almost as tightly as I had been him. Fingers dug into my back as he pressed closer. I had forgotten how good this had felt and I began smiling to myself through my tears. _God I missed this. _

Warm breath tickled my neck as he pulled me closer - if that was even possible. But really that's all we were trying to achieve - getting as close as possible to the other person, becoming one. We were both trying to get into each others skin and stay there because that's where we belonged.

I pressed my lips harshly just below his ear. It wasn't a kiss, but it was the closest thing I could get at the moment. My hands slowly crawled up his back and quickly found his hair. They tangled into it and almost began pulling it out by the force I was grabbing it.

His tears trickled down my arm as he gripped my elbow painfully, using his other hand to snake up his own fingers into my hair. And yet our lips hadn't met. They didn't need to at that point. The only thing that mattered is that we were where we belonged - securely in each others arms. But then I began to wonder what it would feel like if I just got a peck in. And the more I thought about it, the higher my lips traveled. They lingered against his adams apple, enjoying the nervous gulp that was felt when I gently kissed it. His skin was even smoother then I remembered. I now had my lips hovering over his chin, smiling at the chill he sent down my spine as he began to breath heavily against my forehead.

I lightly kissed his chin, absorbing his taste and scent as I forced my lips to go higher. His lips were barely an inch away from mine now.

"Can I?" I asked breathlessly.

His nose nudged mine a little bit, teasing me as his lips brushed the top of my upper lip.

"I want to Blaine, I really do." He breathed.

Suddenly I realized where we were. More importantly I realized who I was. Because in that moment I had forgotten everything. I guess Kurt still had that kind of effect after all these years.

Shocked, I pushed him away slightly and immediately regretted it when seeing the look on his face.

"Kurt I'm so sorry." I said, backing away from him slowly.

He sighed deeply and wrapped his arms around himself. "Don't be." His voice was barely above a whisper but it echoed loudly in my ears, squeezing my brain tightly.

"Guys?"

We all turned towards the voice and I heard a sigh of frustration escape from all three of us (I had forgotten Finn's presence) and we laid eyes on Rachel, who was carrying a case of beer.

"I just thought you guys might get thirsty, so I brought some refreshments." Her voice was full of embarrassment when see saw the look on mine and Kurts face. She held the case out to Finn who took it with a smile. "Actually how about we just all go inside and drink these? I think a silly karaoke machine can wait till later. Maybe when the rest of the guys come." She brightened up and grabbed Finn's hand, dragging him to the house as Kurt and I shuffled after them.

"I really need to talk to you." I whispered to Kurt, attaching myself to his side.

He glanced at me through the corner of his eye. "We'll talk later on tonight." He hesitantly looked up at Finn then back at me, keeping his voice a whisper. "There's a plan. Don't worry." His hand met mine and squeezed it tightly. The warmth of his hand was gone almost as quickly as he arrived and I greatly missed it.

Once inside, the four of us took a seat around the kitchen island and awkwardly took a bottle out of the case of beer. A synchronized _pop_ echoed in the small room as all four bottle tops came off and we all hesitantly lifted the bottles to our lips.

"Wait," Rachel started. She lifted her bottle up and smiled at each of us. "To reunion, and to hopefully an excellent day for Burt Hummel."

"Reunion and Burt." We muttered as we clinked our bottles together. I snuck a peek at Kurt and smiled as I lifted the bottle to my lips. He smiled back and almost winked but then quickly looked down blushing.

For a while we were silent, all just enjoying the simplicity of the quiet filling the room. Some of us in shock, some in a blissful relaxation, some just simply sitting there, and then there was me who just couldn't comprehend what was happening. There I was sitting with the people I had spent sophomore year with, and the crazy thing was I felt completely at home - I felt comfortable. There wasn't any tension, hopefully there was no evil revengeful scheming, or any hateful thoughts being sent to anyone. We were just there enjoying being together again. Some more than others.

I found myself glancing at Kurt constantly while finishing off my beer. I couldn't help but wonder what his lips tasted like at the moment. Though it killed me to think I had been so close to finding out.

I flashed him a grin as I grabbed for another drink. He opened his mouth as if to say something but was interrupted by Finn.

"Can I just say how great it is to have the four of us together again? I never in a million years would have imagined to have this opportunity, especially with Blaine. I mean yeah I see you, Rachel, and Kurt as much as I can. But this guy," He wrapped his arm around Blaine and squeezed him tightly. I sighed in frustration as he continued. "This guy right here, well I never thought I would _ever _ see him. But I'm glad I did because it makes me happy when my little brother is happy." He raised his bottle in another toast.

With a giggle we all clinked our bottles together and muttered "reunion" once more.

"For the record Finn, I'm older then you." I said, raising an eyebrow at him questioningly.

He just shrugged and looked at Blaine again. "Blaine, I really am happy to see you again."

* * *

><p>I looked over at Blaine and smiled in agreement. Blushing as he smiled back I lifted my bottle to my lips and tried to hide how red my face was getting.<p>

"I'm happy to see you guys again too. I mean," He glanced over at me and reached his hand out to mine. Gingerly I grabbed it, eyes fixed and the way his fingers gripped mine so securely. "Kurt, I just," He gulped back what I was guessing was tears and lifted my head to make me look him in the eyes. God the way they were sparkling with tears and what I hoped was love was enough to get me worked up as well. "I'm just really glad to see you."

Quickly I wiped the tears from eyes and squeezed his hand. He leaned in close leaving just a couple inches between us.

"Kurt, I need you to promise me something." He whispered in my ear.

I nodded slowly.

"Understand me, please." His voice cracked as he pulled away and held my eyes in an intense stare.

I nodded again. "Only if you promise me something."

He clasped his free hand on top of mine and squeezed tightly. "Anything."

"Please don't do anything stupid for me."

Instead of looking devastated like I thought he would, he just looked utterly confused with just a hint of hurt behind it. But the look vanished as quick as it came and all he could do was nod slowly, looking more disbelieving than anything.

"I think maybe I should go find Amelia." He said slowly, smiling at me sadly.

Finn, having watched the whole thing awkwardly, pointed upward and muttered, "she's upstairs in my moms room."

Blaine nodded at all of us and trudged into the other room.

"Blaine, how nice of you to join us." Carole greeted with a smile.

I tried forcing one back but found it incredibly hard at that moment. Instead I grabbed Amelia into my arms and hugged her tightly, greatly appreciating her returning the favor. She pecked my lips, almost going into something more passionate until she noticed my tension.

"What's wrong, babe?" Her eyes bore into mine as she gripped my shoulders securely.

I shrugged but nonetheless gave her a reassuring smile. "Nothing."

She smiled back and pulled me in for another kiss. And all I could think about was the man sitting downstairs who had basically just asked me to forget him after fourteen years of doing the opposite. Yet for just the sake of keeping that stupid promise, I kissed her back.

_She kissed my lips I taste your mouth_

I pulled away quickly, my eyes closed for fear of losing the image in my head. Kurt, in all of his glory, beaming and blushing as my lips parted from his. His blue eyes batted, pleading for more. Except, when I kissed the lips in front of me, they weren't his. They weren't as soft as his, and weren't nearly as gentle. I pulled away once again, only this time my eyes were open. Amelia peered at me with questioning eyes as I found myself wondering how I had managed holding on to so much of Kurt that I could still know what he felt like. _After all this time. _

Damn, this promise was going to be hard to keep.

Three hours later and almost six bottles of whatever kind of alcohol I could get my hands on, I was staggering around outside of the Hummels house and dancing like an idiot as some unknown person was singing on the stage I had set my arms flailing like a wild man, I shuffled over to Finn's side and wrapped my arms around him.

"You - I always looked up to you in high school. You were so cool and coiffed, you were actually pretty good looking too. And then you got to hang out with Kurt all the time so THAT must have been - oh God, where's Kurt?" I yelled the last four words at an embarrassing loud volume. Luckily whoever was singing was drowning out whatever I was saying.

Yet Finn was laughing and spun me around so I was facing the stage. "There!" He shouted over the music.

_Maybe I didn't hold you_

_All those lonely, lonely times_

_And I guess I never told you_

_I'm so happy that you're mind_

_If I make you feel second best_

_Boy, I'm sorry I was blind_

_You were always on my mind_

_You were always on my mind_

With the help of Finn, I walked to the front of the stage and stared up at those beautiful blue eyes as he held out the last note to the song. Tears welled up in those same eyes - the eyes I had fallen in love with so many years ago - as he peered down at me. Handing the mic to some dude with a mohawk who looked oddly familiar, he hopped down from the stage and strode past me and Finn without a word.

"Ah Damnit. Kurt. Kurt!" Finn let go of me and walked off the way Kurt had.

I ran after them but bumped into Amelia. All at once I felt better as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close, nestling her head against my chest. She looked up at me admiringly and immediately the light left her eyes.

"Blaine, how much have you had to drink?" She reprimanded.

I squeezed her closer, pressing our cheeks together and smashing them against one another. "Mmm, your hair smells like apples." I muttered as I pressed my nose to the top of her head.

She grabbed me firmly and led me through the crowd of people that had gathered in the backyard. When we entered into the kitchen she finally let go of me, though she shoved me into a chair before she did so. I could've sworn I saw her sneer as she plomped a slice of pizza down in front of me. I decided to ignore it though when she ordered me to eat, which I gladly did. She rummaged through the fridge for a while until she finally found a jug of lemonade. Sitting down at the table with the jug and two cups, she handed one to me and poured me a tall glass.

"Alright, spill it. What's wrong with you?" She questioned, eyes driving into mine for an answer.

I leaned in close, causing our noses to collide together. Pecking her on the lips, I held her there for a moment when I felt her smiling into the kiss. When I pulled away from her she looked less stern then she had before. I smiled and kissed her again, going deeper this time. For a split second I felt her tongue flicker against mine lips, but she pulled away to quickly for me to do anything.

When I tried again her hand was keeping me from getting any closer. I slunked back in my chair, pouting as I did so. "Why would anything be wrong?" I asked.

"Blaine, come on. You've been acting weird since yesterday, and now this. You never drink unless something is wrong." She grabbed my hand and began rubbing small circles on the back of it. "Please. You can tell me anything, you know that."

I shook free of her and stumbled out of the chair and onto my knees. It took quite a struggle to get back up but I achieved it. When I was sturdy on my feet I made my way into the living room and dropped down on the couch. For a while I just sat there humming to myself and trying to clear my brain. Everything was just giving a large unwanted headache and I could do nothing about it but keep focusing on it. For the longest time I just sat there and let myself be consumed by everything that was happening because I couldn't grasp the concept that any of it was. I couldn't grasp that Kurt was here or that I was married hence couldn't have him. And I wanted him so bad. Obviously he wanted me a little if he was just singing 'You Were Always On My Mind'. Oh God why had he sung?

"Fuck me." I muttered under my breath.

The couch sunk down next to me as I hung my head. An arm snaked around my waist and a chin was rested on my shoulder.

"I already have. That's why we're having this baby." Said a seductive voice.

God, this woman again?

I shrugged Amelia off of me and scooted away from her. When I looked up to see her reaction I didn't even feel bad by the angry look in her eyes. "You're right Amelia. Something is wrong with me."

She scooted closer, causing me to inch further away from her. "What is it?" Her voice was worried but I could tell she was pissed off.

I glanced around the room and listened closely, making sure we wouldn't be interrupted anytime soon."My parents are fucking assholes." I said bluntly.

She snorted and closed in on me. "Blaine, I've met them and though they are extremely stingy, assholes is a little bit of an exaggeration."

I shook my head, smirking humorlessly. "No Amelia they are horrible people."

"What makes you say that?" She asked.

I shook my head again but this time I met her eyes. The look in them brought me back to a time I had tried to forget. The time when my parents ruled my life and their eyes were practically hypnotizing me. And I couldn't take that look. Not from her at least.

"You wouldn't understand." I muttered.

Her eyes flickered with anger as she got off the couch. She stopped at the doorway and shot daggers at me. "Blaine, just try and remember that once in a that I'm your wife." There were hurried footsteps over head and soon Kurt was at the foot of the stairs. His cheeks flushed red as he laid eyes on Amelia fuming in the doorway and me sitting on the couch overflowing with shame. "Oh look, maybe you can share your little pity party with him. You've been doing it for the past seven years anyways!" And with that she stomped out of the room, slamming the back door behind her a few moments later.

Kurt's cheeks had lost a little color as he registered that last sentence. He looked over at me and smiled faintly.

"God I'm sorry you had to see that." I said quietly, lowering my head again.

He hesitated a little as he tried to think of what to say. Finally he just sighed and sat on a chair across from me. I glanced up at him quickly, taking in the way he was nervously running his fingers through his hair, the way his eyes still looked glazed over, and especially the way his body was shaking. He scratched his chin for a moment, looking over at me once in a while.

I rested my chin on my hands and continued to stare at him, very much enjoying being able to do it in real life after fourteen years of having to stare at a stupid picture. A smile teased at the corner of his lips as he looked at me again.

"What?" He giggled.

I smiled sheepishly at him and scooted closer to his seat. "Nothing."

He scratched the back of his neck and I couldn't help but beam at the way his eyes light up. "What?" He repeated.

"I've missed you." I was so happy the words came out smooth and meaningful compared to the slurs I had been speaking moments before.

He laughed and rubbed his face some more. "I missed you too." He blushed.

I reached out and squeezed his knee. "Is this the time where we talk?"

He smiled, kindly removing my hand from his leg. "No, this is the time where I tell you I already have something planned. You may or may not have noticed, but most of the New Directions are here. I hope you remember who they are."

Finally a little light bulb went off in my head. I knew a lot of the people outside looked familiar, I just couldn't figure out how. But now it did make sense, considering they all seemed to know who I was.

"So what are these plans you speak of?"

Kurt grinned mysteriously. "Reunion of course."

"Do I get any more details?" I scooted closer to him, my buzz suddenly coming back to me and making me want every inch of him again.

He sensed this and shot of of his seat, dragging me up with him. "Later. For now, I want you on that stage."

* * *

><p>I beamed up at him as he grabbed a guitar and looked around at the small audience shyly. Suddenly I was taken back to high school. More specifically glee club rehearsals. I imagined him standing in front of all us experienced glee clubbers as he got up to do his first solo, gingerly strumming the first chord. I leaned against the stage to feel the vibration of the stereo against the wood, sending tingles through my fingertips. I stared out at the people who had gathered to listen to this new comer. Couples smiled up at him as he strummed a few more chords on his guitar. They swung back and forth the what I had registered was an acoustic version of Hallelujah by Paramore. And then he started singing. His voice filled the yard as he swung the first line.<p>

_Somehow everything's gonna fall right in to place_

_If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday_

_If only time flew like a dove_

_Well God, make it fly faster than I'm falling in love_

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as he gazed down at me. Hazel eyes glazed and looking puppy dog-ish. God I was so stupid for letting him sing. He flashed me a smile as he worked his way into the chorus.

_This time we're not giving up_

_Let's make it last forever_

_Screaming, hallelujah_

_We'll make it last forever_

My stomach fluttered as he tossed me a wink and strummed almost wildly on his guitar. A few people cheered and he smiled a smile I had spent years trying to remember. I covered my mouth with my hands trying to find my own grin as he started on the second verse.

_Holding onto patience wearing thin_

_I can't force this eyes to see the end_

_If only time flew like a dove_

_Well, we could watch it fly and just keep looking up_

What had been butterflies a moment ago had turned into infants inside of my stomach kicking at me insides. I tried looking at him again but I honestly didn't think I would've had the strength. Instead I did what I typically did and walked quickly away, pushing past Rachel as she gave me a skeptical look. I walked and didn't look back. Because I couldn't look back. Blaine had a life of his own now and I didn't to leave him alone so he could accept that.

I didn't even turn around when I heard him say my name into the microphone or when his wife repeated a little louder and a little accusingly.

I knew if I just left now then he could go back to whatever he had been doing for the last fourteen years and I could go back to me.

Only problem was that Blaine had become and would always be my everything and there was no way to forget that.

* * *

><p>By the time I caught up with Kurt he had locked himself in his room. I held my ear to the door and heard him slamming things around and sad attempts at not to cry. I hesitated knocking on the door because right then it hit me. I was being selfish. I was so drunk with the idea of him being able to be mine again that I didn't realize that there was absolutely no way for that to happen because I had a wife. <em>A wife<em>. What the hell was I thinking? Going after a guy I had a relationship with fourteen years ago. _A guy. _I had _a wife_ now.

"Oh God." I sighed, slamming my head into the door. I heard Kurt stop moving around inside. A few moments later we swung the door causing me to fall straight into him. With a heavy sigh and a bit of a suppressed giggle, he lifted me up and unintentionally our eyes met. Though we had been seeing each other all day, I felt as though this was the first time I was actually seeing him. We were alone. We could say anything and no one would hear.

"Blaine I-" Kurt began.

"No Kurt I just need you to understand that you can forget everything I said earlier. I'm being stupid if I think that I can just let myself slip away from everything I have. So I'm sorry Kurt for the way I've acted today. I hope that we can still catch up though because I've missed you. God knows how much I've missed you." I reached out to touch him but stopped myself when I met his eyes. They told me they knew I was being stupid way before I was.

"Blaine, I know this is all really crazy. Look where we are! We haven't seen each other for fourteen years. You have a wife, and kids. I, well I don't have what you have. I have strived to get where I am now and I have done that alone. And you, well you have everything and a beautiful wife to share it with. So let's keep to those things." He turned back to his almost full suitcase and for a moment I though about actually leaving him there.

But no, I still had things to say. "Kurt, we haven't seen each other for fourteen. How about you put your suitcase away and come downstairs and enjoy the company of all of your friends." I turned to leave the room but he grabbed my arm and spun me around.

His eyes shimmered with curiosity as he looked me over, taking in the person I had become. "You've changed, Blaine."

I forced a laugh and took the opportunity to take him in too. He basically was the same, just a more developed sense of fashion, his clothes strained against his muscles, his hair was more defined, and his eyes held something behind them I couldn't quite name. "I would be lying if I said you have to."

He smiled and looked over at his bag. "I can't leave."

"Why?" I asked, getting concerned at the seriousness behind his voice.

Sighing and crossing his arms he just shook his head slowly. "Finn says that we should stay here for a few weeks. I don't know why, he just said he wanted to stay and that I should do the same."

I nodded, flashing him a charming grin. "So we got a few weeks to catch up then, huh?"

"I guess we do."

"Kurt."

His face reddened slightly as I said the name again, this time a little louder.

"Kurt."

"Blaine." He joined in.

"Kurt." I held it out, enjoying the way it came out so easily.

"Blaine." His eyes flickered all over my body, again taking in everything. I refrained from doing the same.

"Kurt." This came out quieter. I stepped closer, not trying to come on to him, just trying to enjoy his presence.

"Feels good to say it again, doesn't it?" He walked closer to me, putting only a few inches between us. The amazing thing was that I didn't feel the need to lunge at him and start savoring the taste of his lips like I had before.

"Kurt?" God it did feel good.

"Yes, Blaine?" His eyes glinted in light shining in through the window as he settled on looking at my hair.

Out of habit I ruffled my curls a bit, resting my hand on the back of my neck. "It's really nice seeing you again."

Again his cheeks reddened and he looked down nervously. "It's really nice seeing you too." When he looked up again, I could see him pushing back whatever nameless emotion I had seen in his eyes.

Holding out my hand to him, I held the door open for the both of us. "Come on, you got a party downstairs."

Hesitantly he looked down at my hand, as if grabbing it would cause some kind of mini explosion killing the both of us. Though it looked like he was about to just walk past me, he slowly reached out and clasped my hand firmly. We both exhaled, not realizing we had been holding our breath. His eyes met mine for what seemed like the millionth time that day and he smiled sheepishly. I looked at his hand that was slowly lacing its fingers through mine, and then returned his smile.

"Just friends, right?" I sighed.

He chuckled, squeezing my hand a little. "Yeah, friends."

"Kurt."

He looked over at me as we descended the stairs. "Blaine."

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys liked it! And I'm thinking about bringing the parents back into the picture(hence the random mention of them). But as I said, I'm in a slump at the moment so I'm kinda just forcing all of this out. But anyways! Next chapter should be up soon! :) <strong>


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